Nandita Sengupta
NEW DELHI: At first sight, Umang Sabharwal, all of 19 and very vivacious, is hardly the person you'd expect to be behind the provocatively-termed 'Slutwalk artharth Besharmi Morcha', a yet-to-be-held event that has triggered clashes online and at the dining table, making both feminist and family-person squirm.
The almost-into-third year journalism student has unknowingly teased a very raw nerve in both mainstream society and feminist dialogue: what girls/women should wear. It all started with Sabharwal inviting discussion on her Facebook page post a 'Slutwalk' event in Toronto, organised in April this year after a police officer riled university students by commenting that girls who were dressed like 'sluts' invited sexual assault. Men and women marched in protest wearing revealing clothes to bring home the point that wearing 'sexy' clothes cannot be construed as sexual incitation. She referred to it, convinced that Delhi, known across the world as a city unsafe for women, needed its own version of a similar campaign. The response, as they say, is history.
The idea behind the event, likely to be held at the fag-end of July is, in her words, "to point to the tendency to avoid facing the issue of sexual violence". She points out that talk of the event itself has sparked arguments in homes across the country. "This is not about your parents or my parents or family. They tell you 'don't wear this, don't go there,' to try to protect you. Valid concerns but the message is, 'protect yourself'. But this is acceptance of sexual violence. It gives men leeway. Give girls a break."
The Kamla Nehru student never expected her Facebook post to take on a momentum of its own. "I just felt girls, let's do it," she says. "We realized thousands were saying the same thing." Even her detractors will get an idea of where she's heading when she says honestly without a hint of satire, "It's not as if the educated urban liberated woman is a brilliant bird in the sky."
Having set a mammoth event rolling, the Ambala-born says, "The dialogue must begin. This one event won't change people's minds. But before passing a comment, they may think twice. Just like smoking. You can't stop a person from smoking but at least they know it's harmful. We don't even get to the point of telling men it's wrong." Her goal is to work towards a "social set-up where we promise each other we will take care of each other, man or woman."
Daughter of a retired defence officer-now-commercial pilot, she's been around, her father posted across the country from "Manipur to Gujarat". She lived two years in a Kasauli boarding school whose headmaster she recalls fondly. "He taught us to live with pride, and with honour."
Two little words that don't quite fit into the lexicon of the average woman "anywhere in the world", says the attractive young woman, passionate about theatre. "We're told 'shame on you' for wearing shorts in a bus'. The social pressures are unfair. Besharmi and slut have the same connotations of shame. There's no shame in any kind of clothes," says the organizer of the most talked of event this year.
But by projecting women sexually, instead of deflecting male attention, isn't it sharpened? "What is a slut?" she questions. "Probably a girl who looks hot. It's unfair that people largely feel it is okay for bad things to happen to such girls. Wear what you want. The walk is not about clothes. Neither is this a bunch of girls trivializing a very important issue. We're saying, 'Look at me, I'm not asking for it'. "
Importantly, she adds, "When my friends and I bring up children, we don't want to have to tell them don't wear this or that. Boys must be brought up to respect women's bodies as well. The issue of sexual aggression is as much a men's issue, society's issue as women's. We want to live in a civilized society. We're saying, listen and try to understand."
Her team of 20 to 25-year-olds, from web designers to law students and management graduates are taking "every suggestion seriously". Allegations of being an elitist event are being addressed. "Our media was mostly online but now we plan a series of street plays in areas such as Seemapuri to promote participation."
The discomfort with simply facing the issue is obvious in the many blogs, articles etc penned on the same: most agreeing "in principle" but extremely wary of the "means being used here", says leading women's activist Ranjana Kumari.
But Sabharwal's taking all that into account, anxious about the organisation and safety of the event. "So far, it's been about instructing girls. But it hasn't worked, it's wrong." Her intensity and contemplative manner of speaking leaves one in no doubt that the young lady's dug in her heels to make her city "listen".