We
have hundreds of stories of lovers sacrificing everything for their
love but none parallel that of Madai Dubey or Madai Dom. Madai was a
Brahmin who willingly gave up his caste and converted himself into a Dom
for his ladylove Sugmona. In the stratified Hindu caste structure,
where everyone aspires to go up the ladder, their tale is unique.
Madai
Dubey was born in Salempur, a small village in Bhojpur district of
Bihar, in a rich, orthodox Brahmin family. They had agricultural land on
the outskirts of the village where Madai used to spend much of his time
guarding the harvest. Beyond his farm was a cremation ground where
Sugmona’s father served as a Dom. Doms as a caste were considered to be
the lowest as they assisted in cremation and survived on the alms they
received in return.
Everyday,
Sugmona used to go through Madai’s farm taking lunch for her father.
But since they belonged to two opposite social strata and class, Madai
and Sugmona hardly had any communication between them. One day, it so
happened that Sugmona, under a scorching summer sun, fainted near the
hut of Madai Dubey. According to the prevalent social norms, Sugmona was
untouchable. But Madai did not bother about the taboo. He brought her
into shadow of his hut and saved her life by providing water and care.
This
was the beginning of an affair that was to bloom into a unique love
story comparable to that of Heer Ranjha or Sohni Mahiwal. Both started
loving each other without caring for the rigid caste system of India and
that too some 100 years ago!
The
entire society stood up against them. The affair, according to social
norms, was incongruous. The village and the Brahmin community strongly
objected to a love between a Brahmin boy and a Dom girl. They pressured
the family of Madai Dubey to force him out of the relationship and
threatened to ostracise them. Hence, the family warned of disowning him
and to write him off from any claim over his paternal property. But
Madai refused to budge. Besides, he announced his decision to marry
Sugmona. Maintaining a low caste woman as a concubine was common and
almost an acceptable practice in those days but marriage between a
Brahmin and a Dom? Impossible. His family members drove him away from
the home. But nothing could force Madai to betray his love. This was one
part of the episode.
The
toughest test was yet to unfold. In Sugmona’s view, Madai was different
from those young men of the upper caste who entertained themselves with
the young girls of the poor and then discarded them. And she was right.
He was sincere in his love and, despite being a Brahmin, had the courage
to propose marriage with a Dom girl.
When
Madai approached Sugmona’s father, he said the same thing. In his
opinion, upper caste boys played with the chastity of low-born girls
just to ruin them. Even when Madai replied that he wanted to marry
Sugmona and had severed his relationship with his family, her father was
not convinced. He said: “Sugmona is a Dom. She has been reared in the
Dom culture which is totally different from that of a Brahmin. She eats
non-vegetarian food and is in the habit of living with pigs. How can she
feel comfortable with a Brahmin? Can you convert yourself into a Dom?”
Madai said, “Yes, I can.”
The
Dom community too was against their marriage. The elders of the
community put certain conditions before Madai and said that if he wanted
to marry Sugmona, he would have to undergo a process of conversion into
a Dom and would have to fulfil the following conditions:
— Eat non-vegetarian food — pork and mutton,
— Drink alcohol,
— Assist in the cremation of the dead as the Doms do,
— Beg in the village,
— Drink the water spoilt by Dom women after their bathing,
— Adopt pig rearing and bamboo cutting, i.e., the profession of the Doms.
Madai,
born and brought up in an orthodox Brahmin culture, had never eaten
non-vegetarian food, never taken alcohol and had that natural abhorrence
for filthy water and dead bodies. But his love for Sugmona was greater
than his inhibitions. He accepted the conditions and fulfilled all of
them to win his lady love.
Finally,
his conversion from the highest born to the lowest caste was solemnised
with due rites. Not only that, he changed his name from Madai Dubey to
Madai Dom. For the rest of his life he lived like a Dom in the Domtoli
without ever repenting for his decision. Whenever anybody greeted him
and paid reverence due to a Brahmin, he used to fold his hands with
humility expected of a low-born and said, “No sir, I am not Madai Dubey
anymore. I am Madai Dom, sir.”
Later
on, he left his native village Salempur and shifted to Gajrajganj,
another village in the same district as the Brahmin community there
never forgave him for the ‘blot’ he had brought to the caste.
A
British King abandoned his throne to marry a commoner. Shahjahan built
Taj Mahal in the memory of his beloved. There are many who sang songs
and sacrificed their lives for the sake of their love. Madai Dom built
no Taj Mahal. He had no kingdom to abandon and he did not sing any songs
but he sacrificed the cultural heritage he was born to, his ego and his
class to dissolve his identity completely into his love.
It is
difficult to believe that it is a real story and that such a lover did
exist only a few decades ago. Madai showed the courage to stand up
against the traditional shackles almost 100 years ago when the caste
system was much more rigid than it is today.
The
pair lived in love for the rest of their life and died around 1965
leaving their children who still live in Chhotki Sasaram village. But,
alas, they do not have any grand memorial for their great parents.
(Dr. Kavita Arya is Assistant Professor, English, Arya Mahila PG College, Varanasi. Email: kvtarya@gmail.com)